We’ve all been there.
In the midst of what seems to be a friendly pick-up basketball game amongst companions and there’s that one person who goes full LeBron-James-mode but has no actual ability to play the game. The guy whose flailing elbows in the paint meet more than one person’s jaw and the guy who thinks playing a full-court game is a good idea.
The one person whose day would legitimately be ruined from losing a game of pick-up basketball. They are there to leave their blood, sweat and (or) tears on the newly waxed hardcourt floors of LA Fitness or YMCA and punish those who dare step to them by awkwardly and aggressively ball-hogging for 20 seconds then hitting nothing but air on a step-back midrange fade-away.
They leave us all wondering why they never made the high school varsity basketball team and clamoring for what surely would have been a state championship.
This is the same person who would not only call a foul every play (FYI: if you EVER call a foul in street ball you are soft), but CALL THE POLICE because they believe they got fouled too hard.
“Around 6:40 p.m. Monday night, a man left the basketball court inside the LA Fitness in Sterling, Va., to call the police from the front desk,” according to USA Today. The Loudoun County Sheriff deputies arrived minutes later. The guy who called the cops looks EXACTLY how you would imagine if you read the story without ever seeing the man behind the curtain.
I circled the culprit as if it wouldn’t be obvious enough who the “victim” was here. This particular case comes from somewhere in Virginia, but we all know these people are scattered strategically throughout the country to make street and pick-up basketball games as intense as humanly possible.
“He gets up tells everyone he’s going to call the police and walks out leaving everyone in the gym confused,” wrote the Twitter user who documented the incident. “We thought he was joking til we saw buddy at the front desk on the phone really calling the police.”
The Screen. The most simple yet most efficient play in all of basketball whether you’re watching kindergartners play or the NBA. If you can’t give a screen for a teammate you don’t belong playing basketball. And if you can’t take a screen you should probably never buy another pair of basketball shoes in your life. Just sit back on the couch and get softer than you already are.
What exactly did this guy expect was going to happen when he called the police? Did he think the cops would haul this guy away and put him on trial for an “aggressive screen”…? The incident report obtained by USA Today literally says the responding deputy was told, “that they ‘fouled’ each other while playing basketball.”